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Whenever I meet a woman for the first time, I have to hold my breath and hope she’s not one of those women. You know, the type. They give you a phony smile, their voice goes up in a high pitch when they say that it’s nice to meet you, as they not so subtly check you out from head to toe.

I hate that look, the look you get from these women as they size you up, trying to determine what kind of competition you are going to be. I’ve gotten “the look” a lot in my lifetime. It’s a hurtful look. It’s meant to be a warning. There is cruel calculated coldness in the eyes of these women. They are the mean girls of the world.

It’s hard to understand this look, especially when you aren’t one who tends to give it. I am not threatened by other women and I don’t think of myself as being in competition with them. There is no hidden war to be fought with me, no quiet battle to be waged. But in my experience, there are women who want to take you to war if they can and any way they can.

Generally I just ignore these women because once I see “the look”, I know what kind of woman you are. You are likely not someone I want to be around. Things are hard enough for women. We should be sticking together. We should be encouraging each other. We should be lifting one another up instead of secretly wishing ill will upon women we think are smarter or prettier or more put together than we are.

It does no good to compare someone else’s outsides to your insides. You cannot possibly know the private trouble of another person. We all have quiet sorrows. We also all have unique stories and different strengths and special gifts to offer. We would be wise to search out these things in each other rather than focusing on the surface of what we first see in someone. Making snap judgements about another based on superficial things is a mistake.

“The look” is unpleasant. It’s a turn off. Giving “the look” won’t win you friends or influence people. Giving “the look” is a tell to what kind of person you are. In the long run, “the look” will leave you unhappy and alone because “the look” is nothing more than childish insecure pettiness.

Don’t give the look!