Life with sarcoidosis is twofold. It is bitter but it is also better.
It is good because with it has come an entirely new perspective on life. When your health becomes compromised, you suddenly realize that a lot of stuff just doesn’t even matter. It’s a relief. It’s a burden lifted. It makes the color of a blue sky brighter and welcomed cool air crisper. It makes the sound of a roaring wave more audible. It makes love more powerful and clears away the wreckage of resentment.
The meaning of time becomes relevant in an entirely new way. Time quickly becomes important because you realize that you won’t be here forever to spend it how you want later. Now is all we ever have.
Relationships change. You come to know people in unexpected ways. You find you are no longer so quick with anger and that you’ve become far more forgiving of the trespasses of others. You learn who you can count on and who values you most in life.
You realize that most things in life are both incredibly simple and outrageously complex…that there are always more sides to the story and that life is actually a delicate balance of melding these two things.
Is life with this disease difficult? You bet. I’m not down playing it. The bitter reality of the pain and uncertainty is with you every day. But, so is having the ability to make a choice about how to handle that pain. In this way, while you may sometimes feel trapped by your disease, you aren’t. No one can take your attitude from you. And, it is your attitude that either drives you forward or what stymeis you. It’s your choice…every time.
So there is bitter with this disease but there is also better…so much better.
As for me…I choose to accept the bitter but I also choose to relish the better.