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I’ve written a lot about time. I’ve written about the value of time, the passage of time, the loss of time, the importance of time and the elusiveness of time. The idea, the concept, the meaning of time is often on my mind, especially since being diagnosed with this bizarre and rare disease.

It’s on my mind again now. It’s on my mind again now because I just lost a dear friend suddenly and unexpectedly and someone else I love was recently diagnosed with cancer.

These things are bold, slaps in the face that time should never be taken for granted. We do not ever know how much of it we have. There are far too many things out of our control in life, which is why valuing time so deeply has become such an important part of my thinking.

In an instant, a split second, time can take. In an instant, it can also give back. Yet whatever it decides to do, is against our will. We have no influence over it. It chooses. We do not. We are at time’s mercy.

As a result of this knowledge, I am slowly but eagerly learning to accept it for what it is. I am slowly learning to let go of worry and to live today, in this slice of time, with less fear and more joy. The fact that time is so slippery means that I need to live in gratitude right now. I need to love out loud and be at peace in all things.

I am not in charge.