I’ve been thinking about my husband and my disease and what a difficult and often scary couple of years it has been. I know I have mentioned before that my husband has been steadfast in his concern and love for me. He has not wavered once.
And, as I started thinking about our relationship and how these past couple of years could have torn a couple apart, we have actually become closer, I was filled with overwhelming relief and humbled with gratitude. Instead of resenting me for getting sick and needing it quit my job, my husband as done the opposite. He loves me more. I can feel it. He is happy to provide me the ability to be at home so I can take care of myself. He gives this without hesitation.
Instead of feeling resentful for becoming financially dependent on my husband, I have tried to find ways to make his life easier at home. He doesn’t have to worry about anything around the house. There is no “honey do list” for him and I do this without giving it a second thought. It’s simply what I want to do for him…for us. It feels right. It seems fitting.
I’ve always had faith in our ability to face the world together but it’s easy to feel that way when everything is going your way. Once it isn’t, that’s the true test of any relationship and you can’t ever really know someone until difficulty strikes. What I’ve learned through all of this, is that we are actually even stronger than I had imagined. We are even more loving. Our respect for one another has been strengthened. Our bond made more united.
Both of us have found ways to cope and in this process we each made a decision to move toward each other rather than away. We did this without hesitation and quite independent of one another. There was no need for a discussion. It was as if we silently knew that it was time to put the “in sickness” vow to the test and our ability to walk through this journey together has made all the difference.