Life is full of unsaid things that sometimes hang in the air like thick soupy fog. It’s hard when you know you’re in a situation with people where this fog densely weighs on relationships that could be so improved if only these unsaid things could somehow find the light of day.


For me unsaid things often bring rain in the form of salty tears because unsaid things are usually the things that keep us apart from each other. They are the things that create a misunderstood divide. Unsaid things cause us to fill in the blanks, often inaccurately with assumptions that only make the fog grow murkier.

Unsaid things do more harm to relationships than said things. Unsaid things cause more regret than things said because at least you can apologize for things said out of a moment of passion. Things that are said can be explained and explored and let go. Things that are unsaid cannot be.


Things said bring context, offer clarification otherwise lost without words. Said things provide an account and open a door to communication.

Unsaid things fracture relationships. Unsaid things create distance. Unsaid things create unnecessary tension.

What is it about some relationships that create this smoggy, foggy situation? Why is communication so easy for some and so hard for others? What causes this fog to gather in certain situations? And so thickly that it is so hard to find your way out of it? Perhaps it is fear. Maybe it is apathy.

Unsaid things create a false feeling of safety. If the thing is never said then it cannot hurt me or you. When in fact not saying it creates doubt and uncertainty that leads to more separation, more disassociation and more heartache. Unsaid things fill the air with intangible sorrow and regret.

Overcoming unsaid things requires courage. Overcoming unsaid things requires partnership. Overcoming unsaid things requires openness. Overcoming unsaid things requires words and understanding. Overcoming unsaid things takes two. One person alone cannot fix unsaid things. It requires a talker and a listener. Overcoming unsaid things involves willingness on all sides.

Finally saying those deep, dark unsaid things brings sunshine. Finally hearing the unsaid things will ease tension and melt the fog as it creates mutual understanding.


Sometimes we are strong enough to say what needs to be said and hear what needs to be heard and then we feel the sun shine again. Other times the complexities of relationships do not allow for things to be said and the fog never lifts and sadly relationships remain stuck in the dark dank mire of unsaid things.