I’ve been thinking a lot about strength, this concept lately and what it meant to me prior to this disease and what it means to me now.
The definition of strength has surely changed in my world over the past few years.
Before Sarcoidosis, I was physically strong. I was mentally sharp. I felt like there was nothing I could not do. I had an iron will. I plowed my way through life. I thought I was fearless. I though I was brave. And to varying degrees, I probably was.
When I was first diagnosed with this disease, I felt very weak. I was full of fear. My body and my mind were changing and I felt powerless. I felt lost and I felt alone.
That was nearing three years ago.
Since that time I have found a new stride. I have learning to redefine strength. To redefine power. To redefine bravery and fearlessness.
Now strength comes from a very deep place inside of me. It’s as if having this disease has forced me to reach inside my soul and pull out what I am really made of. And what I found there waiting deep inside me is astounding.
Strength is defined as the power to resist force or the power to resist attack. It is also defined as the ability to resist being moved or broken by force.
Well, I refuse to be broken by this disease. It may modify me but I will continue to resist its attack. I will continue to do all that I can not be a victim of its force.
Strength for me now comes from a state of mind.
Strength for me now comes from a state of grace.
Strength for me now comes from a state of presence.
Strength for me now comes from a lack of regret.
Strength for me now comes from a sense of humor.
Strength for me now comes from asking for help.
Strength for me now comes from a sense of community.
Strength for me now comes from letting go.
Strength for me now comes from accepting change.
I am brave. I am fearless. I am strong.